Possibly one of the most taboo - and yet prevalent kinks - DDLG (short for Daddy Dom/Little Girl, also just known as “ageplay”) is divisive, and for good reason. We all care about protecting children and minors in our community, and those who engage in ageplay are no different. Our society - and our baser instincts - keep us from sexualising children; a good thing, children deserve to be protected and nurtured.
For me, ageplay isn’t fetishising children. I take certain elements of my personality and amp them up, and overall that tends to end up in a very childlike persona - however someone who is very much an adult.
We fetishise innocence quite happily. The prevalence of the schoolgirl fetish, for example - while everyone is overage in whatever fantasies are being played out, there’s something very innocent about a white shirt and a plaid skirt. Similar to fetishising virginity - who hasn’t thought of the blushing bride in white, laid out on the bed on her honeymoon, a little unsure of where to go next and not quite knowing exactly what to do.
I enjoy playing innocent. I have a filthy, filthy mind and I’ve done some depraved things - ethically, legally, and consensually - but to step into the role of someone innocent, someone not quite sure why they’re being spanked but who can’t help throw a naughty smile over their shoulder at the spanker while it’s happening - there’s something alluring to it. It removes the need to rely on knowledge and past experiences, and lets my brain sit in a happy, cheeky space it often can’t reside in everyday life.
Similar to that, I like to cast off responsibilities. Who hasn’t thought of quitting their job, or groaning at the next time the dishes need to get done (seriously, how do they pile up so quick)? Adult life can be hard - sex is a welcome break from that. Engaging in ageplay role-play lets me take it one step further - in that moment I truely have no responsibilities, and the designated Daddy (or Mummy, I don’t discriminate here) is going to take care of my needs.
That brings me to my next point. Life is scary. I’m 21 and have been moved out for two and a half years now - I’m still struggling to wrap my head around exactly what I’m meant to be doing, and occasionally I envy my friends who still live at home and can get advice from elders at a moments notice, or have someone to bring them soup when they’re unwell. I like to be taken care of, as do most people. When I engage in DDLG roleplay, I’m giving that responsibility to someone. It gives me freedom to cast off what I need to do, it eliminates worries and stresses from my mind (even those as simple as “oh shit, I’ve got to feed the cat tonight”). For a matter of hours, I’m existing in a space of freedom, a space where, if I have questions, I can turn to my caretaker and know I won’t be judged. It’s expected not to know things, it’s expected to need help. Having someone take care of me is one of the most arousing and fulfilling things.
It ends up with me in an incredibly vulnerable space. Littlespace, as some kinksters call it, needs to be treated with care - we’re fragile in this moment. From the moment we’re born, we’re told to “grow up” and “act mature” - or the dreaded “act your age”. It’s hard to let go of such a ingrained instinct, and I personally have to work in order to do it. Once I’ve put myself through the mental effort of allowing myself to be this vulnerable with someone, I need to be treated with care. This doesn’t mean it’s all cuddles and baths - although they’re always lovely - a harsh spanking and rough fucking is a whole bunch of fun as well. It just means that mentally, someone giving me derision or making fun of the way I act when they’ve specifically asked me to get into that headspace, can ruin an entire night (or week) and send my headspace into an awful place.
It seems like a lot of work for the Daddy, but my friends who engage in the caretaker role have expressed the amount of joy and fulfilment they get from it. Some have had kids, some can’t, some are too young to think about settling down and starting a family, but there’s a part of their brain that gets a lot of satisfaction from looking after people. These are the people who check in on you if you’re hungover, who often volunteer to be the designated driver on the night out, who take you out for coffee when they’ve noticed you haven’t been talking as much. They get a lot of emotional fulfilment and that trademark “warm, fuzzy feeling” from ensuring that you’re okay. When you show the trust to them and give all of yourself up - your responsibilities, your reservations, your maturity - you let them take care of all of you, and the emotional high, I’m told, is like nothing else.
So what does DDLG look like for me? I’ve never been a fan of hardcore ageplay - I don’t do pacifiers, I don’t lose my ability to communicate, and I don’t regress to a certain age. However there’s a slightly different way I carry myself, some hesitancy and unsureness. My voice is light, lilting, high pitched, and I’ll eagerly snuggle in against your body holding my favourite teddy bear. I’ll look back at you while we’re fucking and smirk, throw some winks your way. My overall personality when engaging in ageplay is described as “cheeky” by some - I test rules you set, I see exactly what I can get away with, and I need a Daddy to keep me in line.
I understand why its divisive and it’s something that needs to be thought about carefully. However, there’s nothing wrong with role-play between two consenting adults. As long as we carefully consider the ethics and morals involved, and the consent and comfort of all parties involved, DDLG can have a happy and healthy place in the bedroom.
Let me show you what it’s all about.