Service and Domestic Submission

December 4, 2018

 

 

Service and domestic submission is something I hold very near and dear to my heart. It doesn’t quite fall under the services I advertise professionally, but be assured, I’m beyond willing to come to your house and serve you in this way. 

 

I thrive when I’m given goals to work towards. I’m a very task orientated person and I like to tick things off lists - I’m considering implementing a sticker chart in my home for every time I do basic household chores, tasks and rewards are my kryptonite. 

 

I’ve been in arrangements before where my first duty when I woke up was to text my Dominant and ask him what He wanted me to do that day. Some days he didn’t have the energy to create a task list, but others he listened to what I thought needed doing and he would craft a list for me that ensured I didn’t become exhausted, but I was chipping away at it slowly by slowly. (NB: the app “OurHome” has been heavily co-opted by the kink community for this very purpose) 

 

Let me tell you, the headspace you fall into when you’re scrubbing the stove purely because someone else asked you to is magical.

 

Of course, my housemates in the past have pushed a bit with this and taken advantage - one day my goal was to do all the dirty dishes in the kitchen (I had been busy at work and fallen behind on it), and when they found out, they purposefully left dishes behind for me to do, knowing I was told to do all of them, regardless of who they belonged to. It was an oversight on his part and quickly rectified with a quick text conversation, to which he adjusted the goal to “clean all your dirty dishes in the kitchen”. Communication is vital in any relationship and especially important in BDSM dynamics - service submission is no different. Sometimes a task for that day is just too much, sometimes your friend calls and needs you to come over urgently and you need to put away your dishwashing gloves and head straight there. 

 

The guilt I feel when I fail an order, as a submissive, is impossible to describe in words. I’ve cried over it, tucking myself in bed when I haven’t quite managed to do what my Dominant wants me to do that day. I’ve begged them for punishment, for penance, to lift the heavy weight off failure off my chest, feeling a need to pay reparations in any way possible. I dislike making mistakes. I dislike them even more when my mistake directly contravenes an order someone else has given me - when I get into a slave headspace (as opposed to the bratty headspace the majority of my clients see), my every sense is attuned to obey

 

But sometimes shit hits the fan and you need to run. A quick text, a phone call to ease any lingering guilt, and a good Dominant should understand and alter the tasks, or relieve them from you for the day if needed. Communication is vital, otherwise I feel absolutely awful about myself and they come away with the impression I’m not taking their commitment to me seriously. 

 

One of my favourite days consisted of me, alone, washing dishes, mopping floors, tidying my room, and doing laundry. My Dominant didn’t even see me that day - he asked for photos of the completed tasks (which I was rather proud to show him) and I spent the day in a happy daze, focused on scrubbing the last bit of grit and grime from a coffee cup, or smoothing my sheets so there wasn’t a wrinkle in them. I went to bed feeling proud of myself, looking at my environment around me, finally up to His standards. I went to bed feeling accomplished and like I’d conducted my day with purpose. 

 

I know a lot of submissives in 24/7 relationships where they struggle with mental health issues, impeding them from doing basic tasks. A protocol from their Dominant/rix to shower every day helps keep them clean and healthy, and provides the extra bit of motivation needed to partake in self care. A friend of mine recently took a BDSM test, despite having no experience with it, and came out with “60% Master” (nb: do take these tests with a grain of salt) and freaked out about the idea of owning someone and taking control of their life. I mentioned the above showering protocol some of my friends have and his entire outlook completely changed - “you mean, I’m helping people help themselves? I have the opportunity to ensure they take care of themselves? Oh my god, that’s amazing - where can I find out more?” (He’s since been linked in with the local scene and chapters of it relevant to his interests - and he’s having a ball). 

 

Service submission, with tasks that yield clear, concrete results (who doesn’t love how their house looks after a good day of cleaning?) is fundamentally satisfying to me. I stayed at my friends house for a period of days and - like I would for any place I’m a guest - gave their kitchen a quick clean before I left, doing the dishes and wiping down bench tops for them, arranging their lounge so it was clean and homely, a comfortable place for them to rest once I had left. 

 

Their response? “Thank you for doing that. I could imagine your satisfaction as you cleaned everything for Me, and it makes Me pleased that you devoted yourself with such care and derived such pleasure from it”. 

 

They understand me well.

 

Sometimes I yearn to put on a dress, tie an apron around my waist, and have dinner cooking for my Dominant/rix when they get home, spending the day cleaning for them and ensuring they have a comfortable place to reside in from my efforts, once they return from work. It’s a simple dream, a simple desire. The simplicity of it all makes me so happy, the concrete return from my work a dear comfort to see, and above all, the satisfaction I get from simply serving someone else in such a domestic way parallels no other. 

 

I mean - either way, the dishes must be done, why shouldn’t I get some warm fuzzy feelings from it?

 

Kristen

 

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