I have been hideously busy this year. I launched my own independent porn store, after I did company porn for a while, and as you might have noticed, I’m a little bit obsessed with it. I adore having a physical, tangible result of my work, and that number ranking is both the bane of my existence, and the most motivating thing in the world.
I finally started properly focusing on my private escorting and it’s paid off, I adore everyone I’ve met and the experiences I’ve created. This year, I’ve had my first overnight bookings (and promptly fell in love - morning sex, anyone?), I’ve started seriously offering pro sub work, I had my first swirly, I’ve invested into my wardrobe and diversified, which means I’ve been able to tackle so much roleplay, I’ve met the most amazing doubles partners, I can’t even begin to list everything.
In my personal life, I experienced needle play for the first time, I became a slut for impact play, I started researching lifestyle BDSM, and I’ve made amazing connections within the scene. I started linking in with educators and greedily drinking up everything they can offer (with payment - their skills are next level and deserve to be acknowledged), and doing some heavy self reflection and applying it to my own life to enhance my own skills. I dealt with recurring peritonsillitis, a serious health issue that had me off for two weeks every month for four months straight. I moved house, into a much more sex positive zone where I can finally film at home without being judged. I cared for my cat and restored him to health - the before and after pictures from adoption are shocking. My personal life has been very intense, but it’s very, very worth it.
I also toured for the first time this year and fell in love with that, as you may notice. My goal is to hit Sydney with an incall day once a month, and Hobart for 3-4 days every 3 months or so. Touring is lovely, but it is exhausting.
Additionally, I decided to upload a video every single day in November. You may have noticed that stopped halfway through the month, which honestly, I should’ve seen coming. I tackled my first tour in Hobart that month as well, and when I got back, the burnout hit.
On top of this, I went back to university exactly when my burnout hit, so I’ve been focusing on my studies. I’m happy to say I’m currently maintaining a distinction average, despite tackling work as I study. My intention is to study part time (two units a semester, as opposed to the usual four), so my priority is work, but I’m creating options for myself when I do leave the industry. Don’t be too sad yet - it won’t happen for at least a few years.
I’m in love with my career and what I do. I’ve discovered so many passions, from reconnecting with writing through this blog, creating my own videos and coming up with my own fantasies, and being enlisted in real life to help act out my clients. The problem with passion is that is can be blinding, and in this case, I was blinded to my own needs.
So, December. Where on earth did I go in December?
I flew up to Sydney and toured there, putting porn on the back burner and focusing only on escorting. My clients were lovely, and thank you for showing me an amazing time - the bouquet of roses was particularly appreciated. I was off social media in this time, as I knew I needed to take care of myself. This typically took the form of turning my phone off between bookings, sitting down with ice cream, and watching terrible reality TV (I am a simple being at heart). However, I can’t say I wasn’t excited when my plane wheels finally hit the tarmac in Melbourne, particularly after a hellish flight cancellation.
I met my family at the airport, we picked up my cat, and I retreated to my family home for a week. I completely hibernated - there was very little on Twitter, there was absolutely no porn done at all, and my work phone was switched off. I spent this time baking with my mother, watching awful christmas movies, and dressed in a cute little Christmas shirt reading “Believe In Your Elf!”. I am a festive human, and family time is indescribably important to me.
In this time, I got to catch up with my two cats that live with my family, and the two dogs they have. I also forgot I was allergic to their dogs, so my morning routine consisted of popping an antihistamine with my morning coffee. I don’t usually have issues, so don’t fret if you have a dog, but being around them for a week straight tends to do a number on my body.
Thankfully, antihistamines do exist, so I can still snuggle with them and give them all the pats they deserve. I adore animals.
The point of this is that I completely retreated in that week, and gave myself some much needed me time. I am a homebody, so to be able to engage in that was lovely, without the pressure of constant work expectations. I slept so much, I debriefed with my family about the year (they’re fully aware of my job and completely okay with it), and I got to be cared for as I recharged my batteries.
I apologise for not giving more notice and scheduling things to keep my work up in the meantime. Next time I take a break, I know I need to schedule videos to drop, and be able to stay engaged on my twitter, even if it’s a step back from my usual. I did miss speaking to my lovely clients and my co-hos, and I am excited to be able to do that again.
But! I am back now. I’m back and ready to tackle the year, and be a bit more aware of my own needs, so I don’t overextend myself. A small part of me is stressed about my ranking on ManyVids - taking the month off doesn’t tend to help with it - but I know that whatever will happen, will happen, and ultimately as long as you guys are satisfied with my output, I’ll be happy. I also know this is a mutual relationship, and I don’t want to put out subpar content - you guys want me to be happy, at the end of the day, and this is reflected in the content that's released.
Taking time off was entirely worth it. Next time, I’ll try and give a bit more notice.
I’m so excited to tackle the new year.